So proud of us. 9 of us, choosing to spend New Years exploring what it means to show up and navigate as our sensual selves in this world. Ringing in the New Year with tag, throwing popcorn at each other, exploration, tears, food smooches, and the most intense laughter in one room than I've experienced in a while.
For many of the participants, this was a first in experience anything like this. And they did SO WELL. From yoga and running across the room like cats, to opening circle, reading of the rules, sharing our experience as female and male-bodied humans in this world, to exploring authentic desires boldly, we did it together.
Throughout the night, I saw participants re-claim and voice their selves in the world- parts of themselves they never had a chance to express or explore due to family systems, cultural norms, or self-shame; A participant skipping the very first activity to honor their "no," sharing vulnerably that they cry a lot and it didn't mean they were sad- just present, another allowing her fear at using her voice, a sensual kiss amongst two same-sex heterosexual individuals, and another boldly expressing that their way of navigating needed to be allowed in the space..
All this, amongst a backdrop of hilarity- eating food off of someones neck and acting as "vampires," tag that ended up looking like parkour, flirting and then bursting into laughter, tiger and lion onesies, and so much more.
I guess I had some crazy idea that being a facilitator, all of this stuff would come naturally to me, but I found edges too: I noticed my tendency to shy away from the 2 desires I most wanted for the night, now hidden behind the "Should" of watching the room and making sure everyone was okay. I cried the next day in Reflection Circle, I let my "little" girl be seen- the one who didn't want to hear any negative feedback and told she was "bad," the one who wanted everyone to leave happy and have the best experience ever, the one who wanted everyone else to wish they were here too... because under all that she just wanted everyone to love her and this space as much as she did..
I am so thankful to my co-facilitator, my charming assistant, and every single human who showed up. I love you all deeper now and can't wait to see how this changes us, our relationships to each other (talk about people who "start the party"!) and ourselves in the world at large. Thankful to the ripples that have begun and to the undercurrent of "more" that wants to emerge.
Love you all so...