More Spaces for Women..
Facilitating "Women's Sensual Night"
It started with this share:
"I want to share that this group... is a vulnerable edge for me. Outside of my immediate family, most of the people I have connected with are male-bodied. This has been true for my entire life in romantic relationships and most of the last three years in the tantric space. But lately, something has changed..
I've been learning a lot about female pleasure lately and a quote stuck out. The quote was "For white, cis-gendered women, the cultural script is that the only way to receive pleasure is by GIVING pleasure to male-bodied cis- gendered white men." I've been looking back on these past ten years and realizing that I fell into this. Into this script. Often feeling that the only way I could be safe in my pleasure was to find spaces with men where I could give pleasure, or running towards men at parties because I felt safe there. Culturally safe to express my sexuality, my pleasure, my personal expression, which is a bit bold for most spaces. But I felt like my boldness could be safe there, and that script made sense to me.
And It has served me well. I am surrounded by wonderful male-bodied humans. But lately, I've found increasing amounts of discomfort in connections with some male-bodied humans.. (tears swelling) sometimes I don't want to connect sexually or even have that potential as a reason for sharing time, and lately it feels like a weight on me that I can't quite figure out how to release or to navigate.. And, to be honest, I feel some grief too- Grief that I have missed out on creating beautiful spaces with female-bodied humans for SO many years.
And so I come to you, with some pain in the experiences I have had that fell into that script, grief over loss of beautiful spaces with women, and also excitement- That WE are creating those spaces for us tonight. To reclaim our sovereignty, our choice, or empowerment in the ways we want to show up in the world. By us, and for us."
And that was the start of the night. Of meditation and movement (lead by the amazing Sofia Spolaor Etges, of tears and laughter, of authentic relating, wheel of consent games, and sensual cuddle-puddle vortexes that I wished could have lasted for days. Of painting chocolate on our faces, of sweet forehead kisses, and clear, easy communication.
It felt so easy, so pure, so natural. Every person there said the same. Female bodied humans that have felt uncomfortable in co-ed spaces shared that it felt effortless and stress-less. Each person left feeling rejuvenated and their cup filled or overflowing with care, and the reaction was "more." More of these spaces, more of women's special medicine for the world, and more of this sensual, non-sexual intent, even with our male-bodied friends and loves.
This space, created for and by women, is not only good, but it is necessary.
Reach out if you'd like to co-create a space like this in your area <3
Gift from a client.. pretty fantastic.
Original photo by Chelsea Smarr
"S3x Positivity.. a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of MILLIONS.
Sex-positive respects each of our own unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tried to eradicate sexual difference and possibility...
Even so, we grow like weeds"
Quote by Author Carol Queen
In sixth months of deep diving into people's desires and se*uality in my business, the most common thing that comes up for me is surprise...
Suprise and wonder in the sheer range of human needs, desires, and expression. In direct opposition to the cultural scripts we have been taught.
It has caused me to start some major research into the science behind it all and to share some of that with you.. in hopes that you might see yourself in some of this, breathe, and recognize how normal and okay your s3xual expression truly is.
Memories from my last Women's Session
"I am SO READY to feel good in my body"
"I feel sensation in my body I thought would never return"
"This was beyond what I could have imagined."
"I am going to talk to my pu33y all the time!"
"I have never said those things aloud"
"I am releasing that guilt"
"It was like you were my sister through a rite of passage"
"We (women) should be doing this all the time!"
The honor I felt, being beside her (energetically and physically) as she allowed herself to go deep- into trauma, desires, and shame she has held onto for years
The magnificence of emotions- of joy, of pain, and of new bliss/ ecstasy in her body
The sheer range of experiences in 4 hours- from diving deep into traumatic moments and cultural upbringing to talking to her ovaries and belly to holding her tears of reaching a new level of bliss in her body..
Women are amazing, beautiful, inspiring, and creative creatures. For me, the feminine holds wisdom and emergence and is a catalyst for life (physically and energetically).
A muse and a breathtaking flower are only those things when they are tapped into their own life force, power, and flow of life. And it is from that place, that others become entranced, inspired, and motivated to do, to create, to be and to flow with the life that is inside and around them..
It is an honor and joy to support women in grasping that piece of them, deep inside, that brings life to themselves, the ones they love, and the world at large. Working with women is inspiring work, and I can't wait to explore more.
If you are a female-identified human and want to experience that magic that is women-supporting-women in the tantric space, please reach out
- Photo by the inspiring George Winchell
Love... is Bold
I used my 30th birthday as an opportunity...
To be bold in asking for the Love that I wanted..
and was blown away..
I put it all out there. I literally told the people in my life what I wished for.. I created a Facebook event for my whole week for people to celebrate me, asked for a place to host my birthday bash, made a list of gifts I'd like to receive, and asked for my favorite men to celebrate me in a special circle (more about that later).
And I got it. And MORE.
A personal event photographer who also brought me pink Roses
Flowers delivered to my door
A hand-made bracelet
The BEST party house and toast-master
The BEST sister to celebrate with
Mini cupcakes from
Homemade chocolate mousse
Birthday dances with (even one where I never touched the ground!)
AND SO MUCH MORE
I love these humans. And I love the reminder that Love.. is bold.
I choose to share my desires with those I love.
I choose to make big, bold asks.
I choose to let go of the outcome of the sharing of those desires.
I choose to truly receive what comes after.
I choose to offer that gift to others.
And always, always, always offer it to myself... because in offering that space for myself, I make space for deep love to arise within me, around me, and for those I adore