A soft voice whispered to me slowly, "Would you like to learn something?" His inquisitive and quiet eyes looked at me, as if he was kindly peering into the depths of me.
As if it pulled by a magnet, my body leaned towards him, registering something before my conscious mind could. I answered faster than my brain could register "yes.. yes I would."
It was my first "Energy Play Party" and I was way out of my element. There, in the middle of the room were 5 people surrounding one human. One was at her head, two at her feet, and two straddled on top of her in different directions. She was screaming, with ecstasy, and I was overwhelmed. We had just learned how to direct energy to another human for their pleasure and honestly, this being my first experience with energy and tantra- it felt in my body like I was in the middle of a bunch of humans hitting each other with energetic foam bats; It looked like they were having fun.. but to me, it felt like a lot.
As I heard the soft voice and this human crawled over to me, my body immediately relaxed.
"Yes," I said, "Yes I would."
With that, he laid down, belly facing up and invited me to sit on his chest, directly over his heart. As I got into position, every movement we each made, was so... slow... as slow as our breath. The pace of my movements mirrored him. Or perhaps the pace of his movements mirrored me- I don't know.
As I arrived on his chest.. "Breathe." "Open." "Relax your belly". His words circled me, and then his touch, slowly placing light touches all along the places that soon became so.. relaxed.
Everything got.. so.. quiet. Like the sound of nothingness you hear when you tune into the sensation of hearing.
Everything was so.. still. And then, I felt the sensation of warmth enter my body from his heart, almost as if it was drawing a line from his heart, through my legs, up my belly and spine, and out the crown of my head. I lifted my head slightly towards the sky and felt it moving between my eyes and into the sky. I felt... like I was floating in expansiveness.
At some point, I don't know when, I felt the urge to touch his ears, his head, in the same way that he touched mine. And the vortex continued as we shifted to seating and then slowly moving around one another, as if nothing else existed but the moment and whatever inch of skin we were touching.
I don't think I "thought" once in that entire interaction- I just "felt"- felt the urge to move, to touch, to breathe, to relax, to open.
At one point, his fingers traced across my lips and my entire body felt an insane pulse of warmth and aliveness, ending at my lips and cascading my body into what felt like a thousand sensors lighting up in and around my body- similar to the tingles you get when your leg or arm falls asleep, but the opposite- I felt tingles of awakeness, alivenesss, warmth.
At one point, I remember us both falling into laughter- as if we were both in awe of what was happening but laughter was the only real way to express it. I remember him asking "Where did you come from?" and feeling the same way about him..
The appreciation, the trust, the feeling of being understood in this new place...
and then, the voice of the organizer of the retreat, Moniqe Darling, saying "Hey guys, time to head out."
It was then that the world around the two of us came into focus and I realized-The room was empty.. and 6 hours had went by..
Apparently, Monique Darling had come to check on us twice before, the party had went on for a few hours, all the participants had left at different times of the night, and I had not noticed... one bit of it.
It was as if a bubble had formed around me and this human and the laws of time and sound didn't apply to us- We were in our own world....
I left that evening with the recognition that this was a moment in life that my mind and body would never forget and that I wanted more of THIS.
That was 2 years ago, and since then my relationship with this amazing human, and the energy world, has deepened. Since then, I have assisted at 2 of his Energy Trainings- navigating fear, desire, and a million hours in just a few weeks- as it goes with energy. I've had my first heart-gasm, my first full-body energy orgasm, food-gasms, sound-gasms, and pleasure and openness in my body that just continues to expand.
I wish I knew how to put into words what this human and this Energy World means to me. But I really can't. Instead, I'd like to invite you to come experience it for yourself.
I will be assisting the "Energy Master" Lawrence Lanoff at a few events in the next couple of months:
The In's and Out's of Energy Sxx - Sat April 30
Tantra Massage Secrets for Everyone- Sun May 1
AND, if you want to go DEEP, come play with us for a week or two in Austin in July!!
Austin TX Energetic Sxx Facilitator Training w/ Lawrence, Monique, & Peter
**If you plan on going to any of these events, please reach out to me or let Monique know I referred you.. Helps us both get discounts in the future!
**I also teach a lot of these practiees in my one-on-one client sessions as well.. PM me for more details <3
Can't wait to play with you in "energy world" soon!