What is compatibility?
I've been in a few long-term relationships in my life so far, and they've run the gamut:
Lust: I want you. Passionate. Sparks. Eventually... attachment style
mismatch gone awry in fiery blaze.. learn where my attachment shadows lie.
Storybook: It seems like the universe put us together for a reason. Happily
ever after doesn't actually happen. Major personal growth on facing reality
Caretaking: You support me in ways that I need and make me feel good. Ends
when I grow out of the need for that support. Learn what it means to be
Love: It just hits you, that you will love this person no matter what. But
love doesn't always equate to compatibility in partnership... Learn
to love at the appropriate distance for the relationship.
Now, though, I am particularly appreciating a new stage of relationship:
I just really.. like you. I like myself around you. I like what we do
together. I like how I feel in my body and in my mind when we are together.
I like our talks, how you smell, our jokes, how we share time. I "like" all
of it, even the moments where we have a difficult conversation, or we get
stuck in traffic, or daily normal "life happens" things- I like it. Not in
an intense, emotionally or physically charged way. In a good, pleasurable,
chill, peaceful way. I don't feel like I'm reaching for anything
particular. I'm just liking what happens and unfolds.. There is just a lot
of liking going on... And I'm liking the liking too!
Anyways, I'm not sure what will come of this "liking" relationship style I
have going on, or what I will come to learn from it, but I will say that it
is the most peacefully pleasurable out of all of the styles above, and for
that I am very grateful...
Ps. Would love to hear about your relationship "styles", what you learned
from them, and what has been the best for you...